Ping!– The instant message appeared,
her tiny, pink font sickening to the eyes,
my stomach turned– vision blurring
to the point I couldn’t make out her words.
Years ago, she sat in the sand
on that beach volleyball court,
her knees to her chest, arms hugging her legs.
I walked towards her, and sat beside her
facing the opposite way
and I lay my head on her shoulder.
She muttered her reasons,
choking on words, and tears, as she went along.
And when she got up, I was left alone
in the cold sand, with nothing
to hold my head against,
wondering what I had done to lose her.
I finished reading the pink text on my screen,
“It’s been enough time, and I know everything
between us is all kinds of f**ked up,
but I wanted to touch base with you.”
I thought back to her leaving me in the cold sand,
alone with my thoughts, my pain,
and today, she doesn’t get to tell me it’s time,
deciding that I’ve grieved enough,
that I finally get my answers.